How Postpartum Depression Helped Me Find My “Why” in Life

At Remember When Photography LLC we take pride and joy into serving our clients at every level possible from snacks, meals, drinks, toys to entertainment for your children, to clothing for the entire family to wear for your session. We also provide an assistant to help keep everyone happy and positioned well. We know that family portraits from newborn to extended family sessions can be very stressful and not something that is enjoyable by the entire family. The children just want to play, Dad just wants to go home, and Mom is the one keeping the family together to get the perfect photo to cherish because she knows the importance of it all. She knows that this moment in time with her young children or adult children will not last long and they will grow and things will change from this moment on. This feeling of moments fleeting is the one of many reasons why we do what we do at Remember When Photography LLC. We do not just produce a beautiful Family Portrait, we give our clients an experience and the emotion of love and personality of their family that they will be able to cherish for years.
At Remember When Photography you will meet a few people to help you through you session. We have 2 assistants Tiffany and Jennifer that specialize in working with children to help with safety and ease of your session. You will also meet your photographer Amanda Truman who’s vision this business is built from.
Amanda has been photographing portraits for several years and became more interested in 2010. However even though she loved the art of photography she did not find her why in this craft until 2012 and more so in 2016 when she suffered from postpartum depression but did not admit it to herself and others. Before this time she knew she loved the art of photography and especially portraits of families and children, but it never truly hit her on why she loved it so much until her daughter was born in 2016. During this time she had her newborn daughter and her 2 almost 3 year old son. When her son was born in 2012, it was such an amazing time becoming a mother and caring for her newborn son. Of course there were difficult moments just like any other new mother with learning to balance life with a newborn. When the time came that she was pregnant with her daughter she was just as excited to meet and care for her little one once again.

On July 19th 2016 she gave birth to her daughter and it was just as wonderful as her first child initially. As time went on and breast feeding just like with her son was very difficult as her body was not responding as it should. This time Amanda was determined to make it work through all the exhaustion until it came to a point where life was at all time low. She then supplemented with formula which was the most difficult decision and feeling of failure to herself and her child again. From this point on it was a downward spiral for her with her connection with her daughter and the beginning of her postpartum depression began to take a hold of her. She felt disconnected from her daughter unlike the feeling she had with her son when he was a newborn. She did not have that nurturing and caring feeling that she once had. She felt like she was the worst mother for not having the feelings for her daughter that she with her son just a 3 short years ago.

During that time she continued to go through the motions of love and care for her children . She continued with getting newborn photos and all the milestone and family photos as she did with her son. She knew that even without that feeling of connection, deep down she loved her daughter and family during this emotionally and disconnected time in her life.

Amanda hid the feelings she had from the majority of her family because how do you describe feelings of disconnected and not emotionally attached to your child without feeling like a horrible parent. Finally after several months of tears, shame, and guilt she decided it was time to talk to her doctor which she should have done in the beginning. This changed everything. She finally felt the love, care and connection with her daughter that she never had before. She finally realized she was not a terrible mother she was just taken over by depression that robbed those special moments that she should have enjoyed with her daughter as a newborn instead of feeling numb and disconnected every minute of it even through the difficult times.

Luckily for Amanda she did not completly lose those moments to the depression. Even though she did not feel connected and caring at the moment she knew she loved her daughter and was able to relive and remeber the loving moments of that time of her daughters life with the images that she had done. Without those images all that time would have been remembered with regret and shame of not finding the help to enjoy the moments that she could do at that time because of her depression. When she looks at those images of her and her daughter she does not think of how her depression robbed her , however she is taken back to that moment of holding her and the feeling of kissing her soft skin and finds enjoyment in that moment that she did not have at that time . With doing this she is able to in a sense relive and cherish those moments in a completly new light. This brings her hope to the years to come and how far she has come to this moment in time. Instead of feeling regret and shame these portraits of her daughter bring her love and hope that she did not feel before. When she realized this power of these portraits she knew that there are any other mothers that feel the same way and suffer from postpartum depression and find it difficult to enjoy their newborn and life. From that point on it has been Amanda’s reason for providing portraits to families to give them what she has found in her own images for them to find joy even in the hard times of life. She wants every family to know that there is hope joy and love even in the hard times of life and a photo can capture that to find in the future.

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